Wake Up and Smell the Roses!!!

I have been whining a lot lately. Whining about my job, and my financial situation, and my job, and my family, and my job, and not getting what I want, and did I mention....my job?? That's it. It's time for the whining to stop.

Last week I was frustrated about how long it had been since I had gotten a pedicure. I was acting disgusted that I hadn't gotten one in so long, as if getting a pedicure was the most important thing on this earth. All I could think was how incredibly self-centered, selfish and jerkish I was being. Really? all over a pedicure, when there are people out there who don't even know what a hot shower or a warm bed at night feels like??........Get over it, Crystal!!
I hate my job. It's safe to say and everyone knows it. It's not going to get any better, I signed a contract and I am in it for the long haul. Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can change. There are people out there barely surviving because they cannot ger a job to provide for their families.......Get over it, Crystal!
Anyone who knows us knows that we are beyond frustration with this whole baby situation. It' not happening, and we don't know why when we have done everything right. There are people who do not have the love for children in their hearts, and do not know how great a child's love is. There are people who cannot have children and never will be able to......Get over it, Crystal!!
The bills keep piling up and growing. The more money that comes in, the more it seems there is nothing there. There are people who are 110%, completely dependent upon others and could not survive on their own two feet.....Get over it, Crystal!!

There is a theme here that is incredibly hard for a focused, path driven, control freak like myself to swallow. Get over it. Three simple words will be the hardest words I have ever had to choke down in my life. God does everything for a reason, and He has put me where I am for a reason. Instead of being thankful and praising Him for all He has done, I am spending my time whining about all He hasn't. I know other people are getting sick of me whining (my poor husband has it worse than anyone), I am getting sick of me whining, and I KNOW God is getting sick of me whining.
God has given me exactly what I NEED and exactly what I can HANDLE at this point in time. My whining and focus on things I don't have are turning me into a person that cannot do the work that God has for me at this moment. I need to be a good wife and support my husband wholeheartedly, I need to be a good teacher and do the best I can no matter the situation, I need to be a witness for the way accepting Christ has turned my world upside down.

I got a call tonight that a child I taught in preschool last year was killed in a car accident today. She was 4. Her mom is my age. That..... I CAN'T handle.

God, I praise you for all you have done in my lfe in the past year. You have moved mountains in my life and I know this is just the beginning of a wonderful, amazing journey You have planned for me to take with You. You may not give me all I want or have asked for, but You have given me what You know I can handle, and what You want me to have. Lord God, You are wiser than me, and have the great ability to see the big picture that I do not. Give me the serenity to accept what You have entrusted me with wholeheartedly. God, I know You handpicked me for this journey for a secific reason. Lead me to the path You want me to take and give me strength to stay on that path and be a witness for Your amazing love and power. You are the way, the truth and the light in my life and I entrust all I have to You. I surrender to You. And I pray all of this in the powerful, loving beautiful name of Your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.